Communist Party: Indy Could Lead to New Cold War!

In the fourth installment of the Indiana Jones series, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Harrison Ford matches wits with a KGB agent played by Cate Blanchett. The Communist Party of Russia is concerned that younger Russians who were not alive during the Cold War "will go to the cinema and will be sure that in 1957 we made trouble for the United States and almost started a nuclear war" according to an AP report.

It seems that the Communist Party is either grossly misjudging the impressionability of their youth, or is basing their opinion on the first few minutes of the film, where Blanchett's character is in America kicking some American military ass. Had the Communists kept watching, they would discover that Blanchett's character was in America to find the mummified remains of an alien that crash landed in........you guessed it, Roswell, New Mexico. OK, let's stop right there for a second. That is literally a description of the first ten minutes or so of the movie. My impression at that point? "Why the hell does Indiana Jones know anything about aliens?"

The reason this AP report piqued my interest is that I can't seem to figure out at which part in the movie young Russian movie-goers will be tricked into believing the Communists were doing anything remotely realistic. I would assume after a discussion of ALIENS, most people would realize the movie they are watching is FICTIONAL. Not according to the Communists. They seem to believe that Russian youth saw the alien discussion, didn't bat an eye, then just kept nodding right along as Blanchett's KGB agent experimented with psychic powers, engaged in a sword fight while standing on the back of a car, spoke with a Russian accent, and finally, DISCOVERED GOD DAMN ALIENS!! Come on people. It is a friggin Indiana Jones movie. On the American side, nobody is leaving the theater thinking "Wow, I can't believe those commies did that shit 50 years ago. We gotta go fuck them up!" Likewise, nobody in Russia is leaving the theater thinking "Wow, I can't believe we were such douche bags during the Cold War, running around the world looking for aliens and trying to unlock psychic powers. I hate being Russian."

Of course, despite the ridiculousness of the film, one Party official told the Associated Press that "It is very disturbing if talented directors want to provoke a new Cold War."

Wow.